


Letting You Go

by StreetSoldierin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Parenting, Break Up, Draco can't have nice things, Everything Hurts, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, Lucius Malfoy Being an Asshole, Lucius Malfoy's A+ Parenting, M/M, Not, One Shot, Sad Draco Malfoy, Short One Shot, god this hurts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 16:27:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20763392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StreetSoldierin/pseuds/StreetSoldierin
Summary: „We can’t, okay? We just can’t.”Draco was used to his words hurting others; he was used to seeing the many different expressions appear on their faces, annoyance, sadness, mostly anger.He wasn’t, however, used to words clinging to his throat, begging not to be spoken. He wasn’t used to hurt himself by speaking. The things that tore him apart inside usually stayed in his mind and never came out.This time it was different, and he couldn’t deal well with different. He wasn’t prepared for this.~~~~~~~~~Draco's first and only breakup.





	Letting You Go

„We can’t, okay? We just can’t.”   
Draco was used to his words hurting others; he was used to seeing the many different expressions appear on their faces, annoyance, sadness, mostly anger.  
He wasn’t, however, used to words clinging to his throat, begging not to be spoken. He wasn’t used to hurt himself by speaking. The things that tore him apart inside usually stayed in his mind and never came out.   
This time it was different, and he couldn’t deal well with different. He wasn’t prepared for this. 

“I never thought you’d take me for a fool, Draco”, Adrian replied still smiling half-heartedly, but his fingers were twitching at his side and that was all it took to give his insecurity away. “Didn’t you think I’d notice that everything was perfectly fine but suddenly after being home for holidays you just seem to hate me? Come on, you really think I wouldn’t know that your father thinks I’m not good enough for you?” 

Actually, it was the exact opposite. Lucius thought Adrian to be _too_ good for Draco, and if other people were good, they were to be treated as rivals, not as friends. In Lucius’ eyes success tasted better at the sight of the failure of others, especially if those other people were commonly known as brilliant, just like Adrian. 

“It’s not like that”, Draco started to explain, but he knew his words would lead to nothing. There was no way out of this without hurting Adrian, and he tried to keep that at a minimum.   
“Well, what’s it like then? You owe me an explanation at least and I’m damn sure you didn’t just expect me to accept the fact that suddenly everything that happened between us is over.”   
Of course Draco hadn’t expected that, but it had been difficult enough to go through with it, explaining it was a whole new level. “Oh”, Adrian suddenly exclaimed and cocked his head. “It’s because I’m a boy then, is it?” 

“No, of course not, I told you that already.” Draco sighed and pressed two fingers against his temple. His head throbbed and he just wanted to lie down and never get up again. It was no lie, being gay was not a real issue. Draco could marry Goyle for all his father cared, it was Adrian’s brilliance that didn’t please him. 

“But it is because of your father, right?”   
Draco nodded and hoped that this wasn’t what his father had meant with “don’t give him too much information”. But he wouldn’t lie to Adrian. He couldn’t tell him the truth either, but Adrian was the only person in his life he had never lied to and under no circumstances would he change that now. 

Adrian’s gaze had softened, but that just increased the agony in Draco’s heart.   
How could he do that? How could he let that boy go without destroying him? 

Maybe that was why he had done better all those years before, staying away from people. Maybe his father had been right all along, maybe associating with smart people only led to pain, not only for himself but also for others. 

“Draco, I beg you, that man is destroying you. You need to stand up to him, whatever it is he reproaches you for.” If only he could do that. If only he could leave it all behind and start again, but he was in far too deep by now. “I can’t.” 

“So what, you mean I’m not worth fighting for? You mean that 'us' we had is not worth fighting for?” The anger was becoming clearer now, silently seeping through Adrian’s words.   
Normally Draco was immune to those things, but he couldn’t close his ears to that particular boy. Every syllable hit like a curse. He couldn’t respond anything; it felt like he’d been stupefied. 

“Great.” Adrian turned towards the sink and glared at himself angrily in the mirror. “I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I thought I had seen the boy beneath this entire masquerade, but that was just another façade, right? I am a Slytherin, by Merlin’s beard, I should’ve been smarter than this. Even if you did love me somehow, it obviously wasn’t enough to fight for me.” 

_I love you enough to fight against myself. I love you enough to suppress that selfish urge to hold you in my arms again. I love you enough to do this to myself._   
_I love you enough to let you go._

Of course those words never left Draco’s lips. They could cause far more damage being heard than they did unspoken. 

So Draco just stood there, mouth tightly shut, as they boy he loved whipped around and darted out the bathroom door. He watched him leave, heard the bang of the closing door that echoed on from the tiles. And in that echo he seemed to hear a whisper, the words his father had told him the other day.

_You stop seeing him. You make it clear to everyone that you two are done. And if not, I assure you I will do anything in my power to destroy or even take his life and those of his family. This is not a game, this is life, and I won’t let you throw away all the good cards that we have dealt you._

Draco hadn’t thought about it twice. He knew what his father was capable of and that knowledge was all it took to make that decision.   
It was for the best to let Adrian go. 

Draco would’ve both killed and died for that boy, but never ever would he have put him in such danger. 

Adrian deserved better anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> Leaving kudos and/or comments will literally make my day!  
Thanks xx


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